*There was a lot of great images in this piece:
“I was dusty and road-weary, had touched the shores of California…”
“…white and red flames curving upon black miles…”
“I rounded the truck and saw Gade standing just within the wooded area, staring up into the sky, singing his Hank Williams ballad to a three-quarter moon.”
“Gabe was offering something up into the high darkness.”
*Gabe felt like a developed and interesting character: I like this feeling of him as “He drove and smoked and kept largely silent.” And the description of his wedding, “Only time I ever wore an ironed tee shirt.” His peculiarities give him life.
*The narrator however, I felt was a little vague and abstract, perhaps that was intended? I wanted to know about why he dreaded the “Got a girlfriend” inquiry. Was that solely because he was afraid the truckers were coming onto him? I also wanted to know more about this line: “Twenty-three years seemed vast and paltry, and I wished I were already home.” Why is that?
*Also, I wanted to know why this narrator chose to recall this memory… two decades later. Is there a connection to his present life. Where is he going with it?
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I enjoyed these comments on "Whipporwill" as well as the other blog entries.
ReplyDeleteA couple of suggestions: When you pick out a phrase or sentence in a story that you like, try to go further and say what it is that strikes you about it. Remember that "I like it" is a purely emotional re-sponse; that get's you "in." But asking why will get you to think in terms of technique and HOW the effect was achieved. Then you can apply that technique to your own work.
An excellent start!
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ReplyDeleteI also found this story to have a lot of interesting imagery. I really like how you pointed out that the imagery associated with Gabe and how the "peculiarities give him life." I agree. I think that the dialogue and characteristics help to define the characters in this story.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought about the reason for the narrator recalling a two-decade old story. Although I don't think that it took anything away from the story, it might have also enhanced the story if the reader knew why he was suddenly telling this story.
I totally agree with you. I didn't think this story went anywhere either. I thought it was totally irrelevant, which is why I figured I didn't enjoy. You never really put your opinion of the piece though. Did you like it or did some of the issues get to you?
ReplyDeleteI agree with your points of imagery and also that fact that there isn't much back story or reasoning why we are getting to know Gabe.
ReplyDeleteI think the narrator might have been vague about himself, since there is really nothing we know about him, because he really wanted us to get to know Gabe and the truck drivers that are like him.